Changing My Spots

As I sit and type in one of my favorite coffee shops (shout out to Seven Grain and your addictive oat milk lattes), I’m astounded at how much my life has changed in the past year. Around this time in 2017, I was starting a brand new job at another startup. With stars in my eyes and a chance at a new beginning, I was once again putting the blog on hold, dedicating more time to work and networking events, scheduling every second of my entire life to make sure that I was properly balancing work, workouts, and social life. Obviously, I was spreading myself too thin to quick. If I was a color, I was grey.

Now?

I left that job. I’m now sitting on two amazing job offers while successfully balancing the whole blogging thing, which is starting to grow. I was invited on my first press trip, which is a huge check on my ‘goal’ list for this little side hustle of mine. I have holiday partnerships up the wazoo and an inbox full of pending offers. I’m training for an 8k, shaving minutes off of last year’s time. I’ve been catching up and reuniting with friends who I haven’t seen since graduation. I am finally¬†breathing –¬†and I’ve never felt better. Instead of walking around New York like a grouch, complaining about ‘the grind,’ I am now bouncing along to my music, smiling, just feeling and spreading love. I know how f*cking corny that sounds, but it honestly amazes me what a different mindset I have and what kind of person I am when I am doing things that I love, for myself, on my own time. If I am a color, I am yellow.

Now.

This is a lesson. I used to pride myself on being an uber-organized, success-obsessed, perfectionist. There was no room for error. Ever. I was a ‘yes-man’ to people who didn’t deserve a ‘yes’ or a second more of my time…until I woke up and said enough. It was my time to change my spots – to get myself out of situations that weren’t doing me any good. To realize what made me smile as opposed to what could pad my checking account. To sit in silence and weigh pros and cons of different life paths. To throw those life paths away and make my own path to run my own race on. To spread positivity and schedule in more time with others rather than another workout or something that made me utterly miserable. If you find yourself feeling grey than a fluorescent color, I urge you to take some time and rearrange some of those spots in your life – even the spots that you thought you could never move. That job that makes you miserable? Quit it (or seriously apply for something else. No job is worth misery.). That beach you wanted to sit on? Buy a plane ticket. Those social norms? Throw em away – they don’t apply to you. Reinvent the new you – the one that won’t settle for anything that’s not beneficial to your happiness. Do something crazy.

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